It’s the day I’ve been waiting for… Okay, one of the days I’ve been waiting for, and it’s not *quite* here yet, but it’s close. That’s right, omnes, my day to shine in the rays of author swag glory are nearly here! Yes, author swag time is a glorious time, when the Great Bookmark rises out of the Bookmark Patch and bestows author swag to all the good boys and girls. And when you get that package of thousands of glossy bookmarks hot off the presses and start to tear it open, beams of sunlight radiate from it. It’s so blinding, you have to look away. Witness the glory!

Oh, wait, maybe I’m thinking of ARCs. Your box of ARCs is probably the one that shoots sunbeams, or maybe lasers. But I’m sure the box of bookmarks is cool, too.

So anyway, the Bookmark of Glory is half designed and it is totally beautiful. How could it not be with that cover? HOW I ask you? I would have to be *trying* to screw it up. (P.S. I am not designing them, The Spouse is and doing a great job.) But soon, soon I shall have thousands of glorious bookmarks to unleash on the world.

After bookmarks comes postcards (kind of like how April showers bring May flowers, or first comes love then comes marriage), and I’ve got some pretty neatastic (that’s neat-tastic, and new and improved form of the word “neato,” but I couldn’t be caught dead saying neato in public and meaning it, so I spiffed it up) ideas. These aren’t going to be your average, run of the mill book-cover-turned-postcard your grandmother got from authors. No. Only flashy and amazing will do. And by flashy I mean glossy. And radiating sun beams of virtue.

And after that, er… which is the third item on the author swag list? I seem to have lost my author’s handbook.